


The Misadventures of Demons (and an Angel)

by EdamamiTomoe



Category: Disgaea (Games)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Comedy, if you don't like that kinda stuff this is just a heads up, it's just played for laughs and nothing more but, there's a recurring gag in which one of the characters likes incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-06-28 06:53:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19807000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdamamiTomoe/pseuds/EdamamiTomoe
Summary: The stories of a party of two mages, an archer, a celestial hostess, and a magic knight, as they embark on a journey to stop a mysterious Dark Mage from bringing destruction to the Netherworld.





	1. The Dark Mage Siryndra

It is said that a legendary Dark Mage Siryndra has set her sights upon unleashing Baal into the Netherworld in order to bring about widespread destruction and chaos. It is why an unlikely party of demons (and an angel) has emerged, determined to put an end to the Dark Mage’s machinations. But will they be able to make it in time, before it is too late…?

\---

“Dark Mage Siryndra…” Valmyryxyr the magic knight muttered the name to herself, a determined look on her face as the intro text scrolled by. To her side, stands Xistivutua the archer, who looks more puzzled than anything.

“Dark Mage? I’ve never heard of that class before…” Xistivutua tilted her head and twirled one of her drills with her hand. She turned to Typhome the blue mage and Durastes the green mage (Disgaea 1 pre-HD remake design), and asked, “Is that a hidden mage tier I’ve never been told about…?”

“No, it isn’t.” Typhome shook her head, trying to imagine what a Dark Mage would look like, but only coming up with the mental image of galaxy mages, which in some renditions, could pass for a Dark Mage, she supposed. And before Durastes could ask, “And no, it’s not a new class in the HD remake either, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“Well, I guess at least I’m not missing out in that regard…” Having her constant insecurity reassured, Durastes stopped pouting and simply sighed. “That does make it troublesome still though, since it gives us no indication of what elemental weaknesses she could have, and what elemental magic she casts. Although I suppose worst case scenario, we’ll have to face star magic.”

“In any case, I don’t suppose we’ll have much to be concerned about. We do have oneechan to rely upon, right?~” Said the celestial hostess, Netsinbe, in her awfully uncharacteristic but typical monotone angelic voice, as she placed a hand on Valmyrxyr’s shoulder and gave her a wink. “With such impressive RES, a mage won’t have anything on us.”

“Yes, that’s right.” Valmyryxyr returned a gentle smile to her angelic party member and said, completely unaware that she was just the target of a compliment, “We’ll be counting on you and your healing, Netsinbe. Come on everyone, let’s set out. We shouldn’t waste too much time.”

“W-wait, I was-” But it was too late, the party’s already heading out, leaving the angel fretting about the fact that she actually wielded swords and not staves as she hurried out after them. She was just going to have to play along and pretend she’s a competent healer.

\---

Seeking to stop the Dark Mage, the party trekked along. Through the lush green forests full of happy eryngi and adorable alraunes, through the scorching deserts with its wild gunslingers and escaped sinners, through the charred, lava-filled wastelands full of rowdy orcs and rotting zombies. You know, the RPG staples. It wasn’t until the party has trekked for three days and three nights before Xistivutua finally brought up a very important question.

“...Do we know where we’re going?”

Finally, the party stopped in its tracks, steeped in silence as they thought over this very important question.

“I… I don’t know. I’ve just been following the party. I thought you guys knew.” Typhome answered bluntly, looking at Durastes, and envying the fact that the original mage design has a much less stuffy outfit, and much better suited to this incredibly hot environment.

“I-I thought Valmyryxyr’s the leader! I’ve just been following her!” Durastes quickly became flustered as she mistook Typhome’s staring for some other intentions, and instead redirected her attention to the magic knight.

Scratching her head in confusion but still nonetheless seemingly not very perturbed by the situation, Valmyryxyr simply shrugged and said, “I admit, I don’t actually know. I just figured if there’s a villain out there, we’d come across her goons somewhere along the way and figure out where to go from there, right? I mean, she IS supposed to be the antagonist, shouldn’t we have run into some of her minions by now?”

“V-Valmyryxyr! You can’t just lead a party around like that!” Xistivutua threw her arms up, distraught at this, although probably more at the fact that the magic knight is seemingly unbothered by this.

“No, Valmyryxyr is right though. Usually antagonists who found out there’s a band of heroes going after them, they send out their minions to stop them.” Netsinbe pointed out, “So it does seem strange to me that we haven’t actually ran into any fights we haven’t picked ourselves yet.”

“We’re not heroes! We’re demons!” Xistivutua quickly turned her tantrum in the direction of the celestial hostess instead.

“Okay, correction, we’re protagonists.” The angel simply patted the archer’s head in a patronizing manner, until she was hit with a realization. “...Unless… we’re too unimportant?”

“Eh?” Xistivutua stopped.

“If… if the villain hasn’t come for us yet… could that mean we’re still too unimportant to be protagonists!?” Netsinbe held her face in her hands as she quickly became mortified, her face turning pale and her pupils growing dull, “But we’re… we’re the main characters of this fanfiction! We have to be the protagonists! Are we just too incompetent, that the main villain doesn’t find it necessary to come after us…!? Oh no…!”

“Heh, don’t kid yourself Netsinbe,” Durastes said with a smug look on her face, “Don’t you think you’re giving yourself a little too much credit?”

“Durastes!” Typhome frowned at her comment.

“No, Netsinbe is right.” The magic knight stepped in, “It does seem strange that the Dark Mage has yet to make a move. I mean, we’ve journeyed through a lot of places over the last three days, and yet we’ve seen no signs and heard no tales of real conflict. If the Dark Mage actually is seeking to cause widespread destruction, don’t you think there would be a lot more conflict and violence going on?”

“That does seem a little strange, now that you’ve put it that way…” The archer calmed down a bit, but quickly became riled up as she noticed something in the distance. Pointing, she yelled, “Wait, guys! Look!”

Over yonder, upon the top of a kind of low hill, stood a silhouette of an awfully menacing mage with flowing wavy hair, as a bright and powerful flame burned behind her, casting a great shadow over her figure. From her, boomed a deep and powerful voice, “SO YOU ARE THE PARTY THAT SEEKS TO STOP THE GREAT DARK MAGE SIRYNDRA? WHAT A PATHETIC RAGTAG BAND… YOU WILL NEVER STOP MY EVIL PLANS LIKE THIS!”

“Siryndra…! We will stop you at any cost!” Valmyryxyr drew her blade and prepared for battle, quickly enchanting herself with elemental resistances to prepare for whatever powerful spell will come her way. “We won’t let you bring ruin to this Netherworld!”

“The final boss appeared so soon…? But our adventure just started…!”

“Durastes! Shh! This is a pivotal moment!”

“Typhome, come on, this is lame…”

“What kind of a class is Dark Mage anyways?” Xistivutua readied her bow, but still remained skeptical, “That sounds made up. What evilities do you even have?”

“What even is an evility…? Typhome?”

“I-I dunno! That wasn’t in the HD remake!”

“TH-THAT DOESN’T MATTER! I WILL HAVE ALL OF YOU CHARRED TO A CRISP!”

“So a red mage…”

“A red mage for sure.”

“MINIONS! DESTROY THEM!”

From the hilltop, out leaped a band of imps led by a single dragon, the motley crew flying towards the party as the dragon let out a terrifying roar. Their fists and fangs were quickly met with Valmyryxyr’s blade, as she took on multiple ones at once.

“Wh-what are these things!?” Durastes cried out in alarm as she began casting wind magics, blasting imps out of the sky. 

“Think of them as winged! They’re from the Disgaea 1 Complete!” Typhome quickly answered, showering the imps with icicles. As soon as one pulled up a chunk of stone from the ground and hurled it at her though, she quickly dodged and cried, “E-eek! Nevermind! They’re not!”

“Careful! They’re from Disgaea 5! They’re actually competent!” Xistivutua quickly fired a shot at the imp who just threw the stone at the blue mage, taking it out with a critical hit. “None of that Hell Pepper crap!”

As the magic knight and the archer focused on taking down the imps that were trying to get to the mages, the dragon flew in and swiped at Valmyryxyr with its talons, forcing her back, before landing back a distance away, out of reach of her sword.

Drawing her sword and leaping into the fray, Netsinbe cried out to the mages, “Focus on the dragon! Valmyryxyr and I will keep the imps away!”

Shocked by the celestial hostess striking down imps with a sword, Valmyryxyr cried, “Wait what!? You’re not a healer!?”

“N-no! I’m terrible at healing!”

“Ah, crap, we don’t have a healer…” 

Realizing that without a healer, the tanks of the party are on limited strength, Typhome quickly pointed her staff at the dragon and fired off Mega Ice, not holding anything back. To her surprise though, it did fairly little to it. “Wh-what!? Oh no, is it not weak to ice!? Durastes!”

“On it!” Durastes followed it up with her own Mega Wind, only to find that while it did do better, it still didn’t do a lot of damage to it. “N-not wind either!? It must be weak to fire then!” 

“You’re right! It has -50% in fire! But we don’t have a red mage!” Typhome exclaimed, “What are we going to do!?”

Hearing the mages’ plight, Valmyryxyr quickly said to Netsinbe, “Netsinbe, hold off these imps, I’m going to see if I can get a Giga Fire on that dragon!”

“I’m on it!” Netsinbe finished off three imps with a Blade Rush, and then took a defensive position besides Valmyryxyr, ensuring that she can focus on spellcasting.

Turning her focus on the dragon, Valmyryxyr closed her eyes and raised her sword, as a red magic circle emerged beneath the dragon’s feet. A blast of fire emerged from it, lifting the dragon into the sky as it split into four, and rejoined together once again, blasting the dragon from all sides with explosions one after another, before the dragon landed back down, charred and scorched from its flames.

“...0 damage-!?” Valmyryxyr stared in disbelief, as the dragon laughed triumphantly.

“Whaaaaat!?” The entire part exclaimed, before Xistivutua finally realized, “Oh no! That must be a dragon from Disgaea 2, with fire immunity!”

“That’s so stupid!” Typhome cried, angry that none of their spells were effective against the dragon, “How can you have -50% fire resist but still have fire immunity at the same time!?”

“Kyahahahaha! How do you like that!? I rerolled a bunch of times for the perfect dragon, you know! Immune to fire, its only alleged weakness!” Laughed a high-pitched voice, one the party has never heard, and suddenly, the fighting ceased for a moment, as the party looked back up the hilltop.

Just as the awkward silence set in, the brightly burning fire behind the menacing silhouette died out, revealing who the Dark Mage really was: a red mage, whose outfit is not unlike Durastes’s, but longer and fancier, as if a cross between the original mage design and the newer mage design, with a female armour knight standing behind her to make her seem bigger and scarier than she really was.

“...E-eek!” The red mage shrieked, as if caught while changing, and immediately hid behind the armour knight.

The knight simply sighed, and said, her deep voice clearly the one that was booming earlier, as opposed to the red mage’s high-pitched voice, “Imouto, I told you to leave all the talking to me if you wanted to play villain…”

“Gasp! They’re sisters!” Netsinbe suddenly cried out an uncharacteristically excited squeal, dropping her sword and clasping her hands together, “Oh that’s sooooo cute! An older sister helping her younger sister become a villain…” 

The angel’s comment earned her weird stares from the rest of her party, and from the imps as well, both the ones still up and the ones that were down, but the actual villain on the scene was too busy being embarrassed to have noticed.

“E-ER! I told you not to call me that in front of other people! It’s ‘milady’!” Siryndra exclaimed, clumsily hitting her unfazed sister on the head with her staff, “I have an image to build!”

“ER…? What kind of a name is that…?” Valmyryxyr muttered to herself, probably a bit more loudly than she intended.

“Emergency room?” Xistivutua guessed, pantomiming a nurse with a needle,

“Earned runs?” Typhome made a motion with her staff as if swinging a baseball bat,

“Entity-relationship model?” Durastes said something nobody else there understood,

“No!” The armour knight boomed, her voice making everyone jump as she turned her attention to the party, “Endoplasmic Reticulum!”

“That’s… even weirder…” Xistivutua’s even more confused now.

“Ugh! No matter! My debut as a villain is ruined!” Siryndra stamped her feet angrily, “I wanna go home now! Come on, ER! Come on, guys! Let’s retreat!”

The beaten imps and the dragon sighed and grumbled as they flew back up into the air, over the hill after the two villains. All along the way of their retreat, the party can hear the red mage and the armour knight bicker.

“I told you you should have grinded more before creating a bunch of good-for-nothing minions. Look at how quickly they were beaten.”

“How was I supposed to know that -5 stat is a big penalty!? I didn’t think that +1 from incompetent would make that much of a difference!”

“-5 and +1… that’s a 6 point difference, you know.”

“...Oh, it is? Argh! Still! I’ll… I’ll make better minions next time!”

“You’ll actually have to fight then, you know…”

“E-ehh!? But final bosses don’t fight until the final stage!” 

“You’re not going to level up and gain enough mana like that…”

It just went on and on like that until the two villains and their motley crew disappeared over the horizon, when the party finally put their weapons away in disbelief at their first encounter with the supposed Dark Mage. 

“...So the Dark Mage really is just a made up title.” Xistivutua sighed, and shook her head, “I knew it. It sounded too much like something a little kid would come up with to sound cool.”

“Heheh, little kid, look who’s talking.” Durastes made another snide remark, this time directing her attention to Xistivutua’s chest, which the archer quickly covered up in embarrassment.

“Sh-shut up! Just because I have a flat chest, doesn’t mean I’m a kid!” 

“Durastes, don’t be rude.” Typhome sighed and bapped her mage companion on the head.

“Well, in any case, that was… surprisingly anticlimactic.” Valmyryxyr wipes the blood off her sword and sheathes it. “At least now we know what we’re up against.”

“We’re up against two absolutely adorable sisters!” Netsinbe squealed once again, still excited from the revelation of who the Dark Mage really was, acting absolutely unlike an angel ought to, “Did you see the way they interacted with each other!? It’s so cute! A disgruntled big sister and a cute ambitious little sister…! Aah! I can’t take it!”

“Netsinbe, you are so weird. You’re supposed to be an angel, aren’t you?” Xistivutua had a look of disgust on her face as she eyed at the celestial hostess, suspicion in her eyes.

“E-Either way,” Typhome cleared her throat to get everyone’s attention from goofing off like this, “We should probably heal up before we continue. Netsinbe, I know you aren’t a healer, but… I got a little scrape here earlier, can you help me patch up a bit?”

“Hm? Oh yes, I can do that for you.” The angel broke out of her weird excited glee and headed over to the mage, taking her arm in her hands. Pulling her sleeve up to reveal the abrasion, Netsinbe hovered her hand over the wound and, with a soft, divine glow, cleaned and healed the wound up, just like that. “...There. All better now?”

Typhome smiled, “Yes, thank you. That feels much better.”

Valmyryxyr smiled and asked, “Can I get some healing too?”, a little worse for wear as she was the one who tanked the majority of the attacks from the imps and the dragon.

“I, uh, well…” A sheepish smile comes across Netsinbe’s face as she nervously puts down Typhome’s arm, “I kind of… used up all of my SP with that…” 

“H-huh-!? A-already!?” The magic knight was shocked, “F-for an abrasion on the arm!?”

“I told you! I’m… not a very good healer!” The angel said with a nervous laugh, “Why don’t we… uhh, why don’t we camp here for the night? We’ll be feeling much better by tomorrow morning, right?”

“But it’s only late afternoon right now…” Xistivutua sighed, “Whatever, if we need to, we probably should. Valmyryxyr, what do you say? It’s your call.”

“Yes, I suppose that is the best course of action for now.” The magic knight sighed, and began setting up camp. “We’ll rest up here tonight and continue tomorrow. At least we know the situation isn’t as dire as the narration made it out to be.”

\---

And so, the band of demons (and one angel) has finally faced the Dark Mage Siryndra’s minions for the first time in battle, and emerged victorious… for now. But how many battles will they continue to triumph in? Will they be able to defeat the Dark Mage’s slightly stronger minions next time? Find out next episode…

\---

“Stop misconstruing things, we already know that the Dark Mage isn’t that scary.” Xistivutua called out the narration before turning her attention back to the bowl of ramen Valmyryxyr has prepared. “Besides, she’s not even a Dark Mage, whatever that’s supposed to be. She’s a red mage. Which means Typhome should be able to defeat her easily.”

“I… I hope so.” Typhome sighed after slurping up some noodles, “I was kind of really useless in the fight today…”

“Hey, don’t put yourself down like that.” Durastes gave her a sympathetic shoulder pat, “I was just as equally useless!”

“That… doesn’t really make me feel all that better.” The blue mage just shook her head, “I mean, even if Valmyryxyr’s Giga Fire didn’t do any damage because of fire immunity, she still knows a giga spell! And has higher INT than the both of us!”

“That may be so, but you really shouldn’t discount your own talents.” The magic knight spoke after chewing on a piece of narutomaki. “I may be able to cast Giga Fire, but that doesn’t mean much in the long run. My INT aptitude doesn’t go as high even on the highest tier, and I can’t learn the Tera versions of any of the spells on my own. But as mages, you two not only will benefit from higher INT aptitudes at higher tiers, you’ll be able to learn Tera spells somewhere down the line too, by when you’ll easily outdo me in spells.”

Then, as if trying to find a fitting analogy, the magic knight added, “Think of it as Pages from Homestuck. You may not start out very powerful, but you’ll easily become more powerful than anyone once you’ve fully realized your potential.”

“Pages…? From Homestuck…?” The analogy simply got a confused look from Typhome,

“Valmyryxyr, is that from one of those weird books you’ve been reading?” and a judgmental look from Durastes.

“U-uhh, either way! I’m just saying!” Valmyryxyr quickly ignored that and continued, “My point is! You shouldn’t discredit what you’re capable of!”

“Besides,” Netsinbe added, putting down her already-empty ramen bowl, “Valmyryxyr should already be at her fullest potential with magic, since magic knights only learn up to giga level spells. Once you learn omega level spells, you’ll already be ahead of your oneechan.”

Xistivutua cringed upon hearing Netsinbe refer to the magic knight as oneechan now that she knew what she enjoyed in her free time. 

“Um, actually…” Valmyryxyr sheepishly corrected her, “I… already know Omega Wind and Omega Ice. I… was from the first game before I reincarnated into the fifth… after reincarnating through a few other games too. I just don’t have Omega Fire.”

“What-!? You can do that!?” Durastes exclaimed, “That’s cheating!”

“Waaah! We’re already obsolete!” Typhome wailed, “That means your INT aptitude is already ahead of ours!”

“I… um… well…” Realizing she messed up, the magic knight just kind of, looked down nervously at her food. 

“Nice going, dumbass.” Xistivutua sighed and started picking up the empty bowls.

“Oops…” Was all Valmyryxyr could really say at this point, as she tried in vain to placate the two distraught mages.

\---

Episode 1: The Dark Mage Siryndra, End.


	2. What It Means to be a Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party of four demons (and an angel) ventures into the swampland in pursuit of the Dark Mage Siryndra.

Topic of the day! Valmyryxyr is quite the mysterious beauty, isn’t she?

“Yeah, I don’t really know what to make of what she said.” Xistivutua began, “Reincarnating from the first game, but now she’s in the fifth? How does that work?”

“I don’t get it either, but goodness, the implication sure is a lot, isn’t it?” Netsinbe added, drawing up a graph showing differences between magic knights from Disgaea 1 and magic knights from Disgaea 5, “I wonder what deadly evilities she comes equipped with…”

“Those aptitudes too, so unfair…” Typhome pouted, pointing at the 110% on SP, ATK, and INT on tier 1 magic knights, and the 135% at tier 6. “I can’t believe Durastes and I are stuck with awful Disgaea 1 aptitudes! Our INT aptitude literally caps out at 110% right from tier 1!”

“I wonder what other OP tricks Valmyryxyr has up her sleeves…” Durastes wondered, pulling up the magic knight’s status but seeing a lot of question marks instead of actual data, “We can’t really see what she has equipped asides from her sword, so we don’t know if she has any emblems or anything.”

“It doesn’t help that our equipments don’t show up on our character sprites either.” Netsinbe shook her head, pulling out her Dark Rosary out of nowhere and then putting it back on, having it instantly disappear, “Although I suppose if it did, the Horse Wiener would have given Disgaea 1 an M rating, huh?”

“That’s true…” Typhome looked over Valmyryxyr’s profile again, and then asked, “What tier even is she? I don’t recognize her colour palette. Are the tier colour palettes different in the later games?”

“Yes, but…” Xistivutua pulled up information on new features introduced in Disgaea 5, and pointed to a very specific bullet point, “In the fifth game, you can actually customize your colours regardless of what tier you are, which is what Valmyryxyr must have done, since I don’t recognize her colour palette either. That means she can be literally any tier, from the basic magic knight to the ultimate space knight.”

“What!? That’s crazy!” Durastes exclaimed, shocked by this revelation, “Wow! I really wish we had that… I would love to accessorize a bit. Maybe make my colour palette a bit more vibrant, maybe accessorize a bit, maybe even make myself a little taller…”

“You’re getting ahead of yourself, Durastes. I only said colour palette, not every part of your body.” Xistivutua shook her head, and then looked down at her chest, and mumbled, “Besides, if I could do that, I…”

A smirk crept across Netsinbe’s face as she drew near and said, “That’s right, you do have quite the chest envy for your oneechan, isn’t that right? I don’t blame you, Valmyryxyr is incredibly busty, goodness. I wish I could have that size too.”

“Sh-she’s not my sister! Stop making it weird!” Xistivutua huffed indignantly as a blush coloured her cheeks red, “Besides! If anything, I’m more envious about the fact that she… that she, um… has a… you know, and I still… have a… have a… thingie…”

“You know you can just say vagina and penis, right?” Netsinbe spoke bluntly, making Xistivutua’s face turn even redder.

“N-Netsinbe! This is supposed to be a T rated video game! You can’t just say that!” The archer cried, obviously just using that as an excuse to cover up the fact that just outright using those words made her flustered.

“This isn’t a video game!” Durastes bumped in, “This is a fanfiction! We can say whatever we want! Like, obscene words and stuff!”

“Not whatever we want, Durastes.” Typhome placed a hand on the mage’s shoulder, as if restraining her from blurting out anything too explicit, “If we go too far, the rating on this fanfiction will move from a T to an M! There ARE still rules, you know!”

“A-anyways! We’re getting off topic!” Xistivutua resumed control of the panel, although not entirely her composure, as her cheeks are still flushed red, “I think that’s enough of this topic now! Let’s return to the story already! Here we go, episode 2: What It Means to be a Team.”

\---

Refreshed and rejuvenated from their rest overnight in the charred wastelands after their harrowing and suspenseful first encounter with the Dark Mage Siryndra, the party resumed their quest, following the trail left behind by the villainess and her winged minions. Well, they weren’t actually the Winged monsters from Disgaea 1, but rather, they were minions who have wings. 

Journeying out of the charred wastelands, they ventured into the swamplands, braving the dark unknown and fighting off hostile warslugs and grotesque sludge demons in order to put an end to the Dark Mage Siryndra’s evil plans once and for all. 

“...This kind of sucks.” Durastes said bluntly as she blasted off another sludge with wind magic, “We’ve been fighting these random demons for ages now and we still haven’t found a trace of Siryndra’s activities here.”

“I really hate dealing with these warslugs too…” Typhome groaned, spending her entire time avoiding those demons altogether as she focuses on fighting the sludge as well, “Ice immunity is so annoying, I literally can’t do any damage to them. Sigh, and I already feel useless enough as is…”

“I don’t think it’s too bad.” Netsinbe gave them a reassuring smile, an absolutely angelic and innocent look, completely devoid of any impure intentions, “I’d say you two have been handling yourselves just fine.”

“Yeah right.” Durastes scowled at the celestial hostess, a known pervert, “You only say that ‘cause you got to watch me get slimed up by sludges and Typhome get licked up by big gross slugs. You weird, weird angel.”

“Hey, that may be true, but this is still good practice, you know.” The angel didn’t even bother trying to deflect the claims of her perversion, as she helped Valmyryxyr clean up the rest of the warslugs with their blades, “What better way to improve your spellcasting than to keep on at it, hmm?”

“She’s right, you know.” Valmyryxyr added, as she joined in helping out the mages with the warslugs they were having trouble against, “Even if you aren’t able to do them any damage, casting spells over and over again is the best way to improve their range and power, and maximize your potential as mages.”

“Hmph, if you say so…”

The green mage continued to be disgruntled as the fight finished, and although the blue mage was usually the one to placate and calm her, even she was feeling cranky from having to deal with so many annoying enemies. 

Quickly scouting ahead, Xistivutua reported to the party, “We should be careful coming up, I see tracks belonging to cockatrices. Those will be annoying to deal with, since they weaken nearby units with their gross miasma. Valmyryxyr and Netsinbe will need our support from the back, Typhome, Durastes.”

Upon hearing the name, Typhome’s face turned pale, “C-cockatrice? That’s not like, another one of those weird monsters Netsinbe would love to see us get attacked by, is it?”

Xistivutua blushed a bit upon hearing the suggestion, and quickly shook her head, her drills unintentionally whapping Valmyryxyr, “N-no! They’re just! They’re like big chickens! They’re nothing like what you’re thinking of right now! Ugh, Netsinbe, you’ve gotten all of our minds in the gutter! You’re supposed to be the angel too!”

“Hehe, oopsies ~” was all the angel was willing to comment on that.

“Guys, come on. We gotta press through together if we want to make it through this area in one piece.” Valmyryxyr sighed, trying to get the party to move along, and getting mildly frustrated with poor cohesion, “Remember, target enemies you have the best chance of taking out, and Netsinbe and I will hold them back.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Durastes shrugged, and pulled Typhome along.

As the party proceeded through the swamp, it became thicker and harder to trudge through, the sludge-like water acting almost as if they’re gripping each of the girls’ feet as they marched on. It almost felt as if the trek would never end, until the party came across the cockatrices Xistivutua had warned of.

Along with some mystic beasts.

And a skeletal dragon.

And a terrifying, “RAAWWWRR!! PREPARE TO DIE!” from said dragon.

“H-huh-!? This many enemies!?” Xistivutua jumped and drew her bow, surprised that she didn’t uncover more tracks earlier when she was scouting, “Oh no, this is going to be hard…!”

“Into formation, now!” Valmyryxyr cried, drawing her blade as the rest of her party drew their weapons as well.

Running alongside Netsinbe, or at least running as best they could in this thick swamp water, the two charged towards the hoard of monsters, their swords raised, their enemies’ teeth bared... 

Just as the two parties were about to clash, however, an all-too-familiar laughter rang out from somewhere above, and everyone stopped in their tracks. The party looked around quickly until their attentions were drawn to the menacing silhouette standing on a branch dangling high above the ground.

“Kyaaaahahahahahaha! How do you like that!? I have created far more powerful minions to use against you this time!” The Dark Mage Siryndra cackled, as the silhouette became illuminated, and it became clear that once again she was standing in front of her older sister in order to look more imposing than she really was. “And unlike last time, these guys are not good-for-nothings! That’s right, I’ve saved up enough mana to create incompetent ones instead!”

“Excuse me,” The armour knight standing behind Siryndra cleared her throat, staring down at her little sister, “You mean, you made me item world until I found a mystery room from whence I can buy mana potions for you.”

“D-don’t tell them thaaaat, ER!” Siryndra turned around and flailed at her sister, but then quickly lost balance, “Wh-whoooa!”

“I-imouto!” ER quickly reached out to grab Siryndra, but by then it was too late. The two ended up falling off the branch together and landed in the swamp with a loud SPLAT.

“Um…” Valmyryxyr sighed and stared awkwardly, first at the Dark Mage, and then at the opponents she was supposed to be fighting.

“UH…” The skeletal dragon seemed just as awkward as the magic knight was, glancing back at his master, “SO… DO I BEGIN KILLING THEM NOW, OR…”

As the swamp sludge settled, some of it getting on the mystic beasts’ feathers and upsetting them, the armour knight pushed herself up off the ground, with the Dark Mage trapped beneath her.

“Ugh, gross… I got sludge everywhere…” ER groaned, trying for a moment to get all the sludge out of her hair and her armour, and then quickly giving up, instead turning her attention to helping Siryndra up. “Great, nice work, imouto, I’m going to have to do the laundry again.”

Seeing such a sight, of a big sister on top of her little sister, both covered in filthy swamp water, Netsinbe dropped her sword and let out an excited squeal, getting disgusted looks from not just Xistivutua this time, but just about everyone there.

“Ohhh! That’s sooo good!” The angel sang, clasping her hands together as if in prayer, “Aaah, such a classic siscon fanservice scenario, right before my eyes! I’ll never forget this beautiful sight…” 

“Sh-shut up! Pervert! Ugh, you’re so weird!” Siryndra got up with ER’s help, her face red with embarrassment, and stamped her feet, “Ugh, this sucks, I’m all gross now… let’s get out of here, ER! And you guys! Minions! Kill them already, geez! What are you waiting for!”

“UH… GOT IT BOSS.” The skeletal dragon once again turned to the party as the two sludge-covered sisters straggled away, and, once again putting on his menacing face, roared, “RAAAAWWWWRR!! PREPARE TO DIE!”

Quickly nudging Netsinbe out of her daydream, Valmyryxyr cried, “N-Netsinbe, come on! Snap out of it! Hold off the dragon, I’ll take on the cockatrices and the mystic beasts!”

“N-NO WAIT, DON’T DO THAT, I DON’T WANT TO FIGHT THE ANGEL.” The skeletal dragon suddenly growled, quickly charging towards Valmyryxyr, “I’D RATHER FIGHT YOU, SHE MAKES ME TOO UNCOMFORTABLE.”

“U-uh…” Confused, yet understanding, Valmyryxyr quickly met blade-to-teeth with the skeletal dragon, “T-take on the cockatrice and the mystic beasts!”

“You got it!~” Invigorated by the lovely sight she got to enjoy earlier, Netsinbe quickly picked her sword back up and engaged the mystic beasts and cockatrice in combat, swinging her sword with unusual glee.

“Geez, what a mess.” Durastes sighed and shook her head, impatient after having sit through such a long cutscene and kinda wish she just skipped it. Raising her staff, she immediately drops a Mega Wind on the mystic beasts, “Come on, let’s just get this over with!”

And…

0 damage.

“E-ehh-!? W-wait, what!?”

“Don’t target the mystic beasts!” Xistivutua quickly explained as she fired arrow after arrow at the mystic beasts, “They’re immune to wind! Durastes, focus on the skeletal dragon! Typhome, target the mystic beasts! I’ll take out the cockatrices!”

“Ugh, and just when I couldn’t feel even more useless…” Durastes groaned and readied her next spell targeting the skeletal dragon instead. 

“Hey, that’s okay.” Typhome forced a reassuring smile at Durastes as she readied her spells against the cu siths, “We’ll take on whoever we can take out, and we can make it through this. Just do your best.” 

The green mage just rolled her eyes and fired off a Mega Wind at the skeletal dragon, and jumped when her target actually howled in pain.

“Nice! Keep it up!” Valmyryxyr called out as she continued clashing against the dragon.

“Wh-whoa… that was… a lot more damage than I expected to do…” Durastes almost seemed surprised by the amount of damage output she did that turn, staring down at her hands and her staff with bewilderment. “How… did I do that?”

“They have low RES!” Xistivutua gave Durastes a confident smile and a thumbs up, “That’s why I told you to target him! Typhome, keep blasting the cu siths too! They also have low RES! If we work together, we’ll have taken them out in no time!”

“Yeah…!” Typhome launches a Mega Ice at the cu siths, forcing them back as they tried to breach the frontline formed by the magic knight and the celestial hostess, “See, Durastes? Teamwork!”

“Yeah…” The green mage’s eyes lit up, filled with a new sense of excitement and courage, “Yeah! Come on, let’s get them!”

With their coordinated attacks, the party is quickly able to push back against the Dark Mage’s minions, taking out the cockatrices weakening the tanks in the front, taking out the mystic beasts trying to charge the back row, striking the skeletal dragon with blasts of wind and ice. It’s pretty quickly apparent that they weren’t going to lose anytime soon. 

“GRAAAAWW! THAT HURTS!” The skeletal dragon howled as he’s once again struck with a mixture of wind and ice, a powerful combination that whittled away at his bone armour, “THAT’S IT! I’M TAKING YOU DOWN, KNIGHT! DARKNESS BREATH!”

“Oh no! Valmyryxyr, get out of the way!”

Netsinbe cried out and tried to reach out to the magic knight, but she was too late. After charging up, the skeletal dragon blasts Valmyryxyr with a powerful blast of darkness, rapidly cutting down on her HP in a single attack.

“Valmyryxyr!” Xistivutua cried, and quickly launched an arrow at the skeletal dragon in retaliation, only to have it do minimal damage. 

“K-knghh-!” Valmyryxyr groaned and coughed, completely unprepared for such a powerful attack. Her sword planted in the ground, she held onto it as she coughed and struggled to stay up, “A-argh…” 

“MUAHAHAHAHAHA! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT!” The skeletal dragon cried, “SAY YOUR PRAYERS, KNIGHT!”

The skeletal dragon loomed over the magic knight, his mouth wide open and his fangs sharp. The rest of the party tried to stop him - Typhome with ice, Durastes with wind, Xistivutua with arrows, Netsinbe with her blade, as she ran out of SP to use heal - but to no avail. Just at the last moment, Valmyryxyr looked up, her eyes dark and her body weary, and said…

“...You’re going to… vore me?”

Immediately upon hearing that, everyone stopped dead in their tracks. The skeletal dragon included. With his mouth wide open and almost around Valmyryxyr’s head at this point, he asked, “...EXCUSE ME?”

“I… can’t believe I’m going to be vored…” Valmyryxyr groaned, her voice weary and strange, almost as if she’s… aroused. Looking up at the dragon with dull eyes and a pale face, she reached out and softly stroked one of his fangs, “Oh dragon… your teeth are so sharp… so hard… and to think, it’s going to sink into my soft… vulnerable body…”

“V-Valmyryxyr!? Wh-what are you saying!?” Xistivutua was horrified at her leader’s suddenly strange behaviour, but then quickly realized, “Oh no! Valmyryxyr’s been afflicted with Depraved from the Darkness Breath!”

“Depraved…? Is this… what this feeling is…?” Valmyryxyr looked back at the archer, as the skeletal dragon slowly pulled back, seeming to regret his actions, “I… this is so new to me… my body feels so hot and tingly all over…”

“E-ehh!?” Typhome squealed, her face red with confusion, “B-but that’s not… that’s not how that ailment works! A-at least not in… Disgaea 1… “

“Netsinbe! U-use espoir on her already!” Durastes flailed her arms, somewhat kind of really uncomfortable with this strange development.

“Hmm, I dunno…” Unfortunately for her, the celestial hostess actually seemed pleased with this turn of events, “I kind of want to see where this goes…”

“I-I DON’T!!” The skeletal dragon whined, recoiling from the magic knight, seeming a lot more uncomfortable than anyone else there was, “GET AWAY FROM ME! WHY ARE YOU ALL LIKE THIS! N-NO ONE I KNOW HAS EVER REACTED TO MY ATTACKS LIKE THIS!”

“Ohhh…? I don’t suppose you mind me being… your first then, would you…?” Valmyryxyr trudged towards the skeletal dragon, her sword not even in her hand anymore, “Come now… weren’t you going to take me…?”

“YAAARGH! I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS!”

And with that, the skeletal dragon ran away, fearing for his life.

With the skeletal dragon gone, Valmyryxyr seemed disappointed, and instead turned her attention to the remaining cockatrices, “My… you certainly have really… large… and bulging wattles, don’t you…? You even use them to attack too… how naughty…”

“S-SQUAWK!!”

And away flew the cockatrices. Followed by the mystic beasts. They didn’t even want to hear what the Depraved magic knight had to say to them.

“We… we won…?” Typhome asked, confused, but nevertheless relieved. Well, as relieved as she could be, with Valmyryxyr still Depraved. 

“Can you… Netsinbe, can you use espoir on her already!?” Durastes marched towards the angel angrily, “Come on! She’s acting so weird!”

Attracted by the commotion, Valmyryxyr trudged over and placed a hand on Durastes’s back, and said, “Is… is something wrong…?”

Watching the green mage blush and get really flustered, Netsinbe simply laughed, and then shrugged, “Sorry Durastes, I’m actually out of SP. We’ll have to take a break and wait until I have enough for espoir ~”

“N-Netsinbeeee!!”

\---

And so, the band of demons (and one angel) have faced the Dark Mage Siryndra’s minions once again, and emerged triumphant, albeit not unscarred. As the trials and tribulations they face grow increasingly dire, will their convictions remain firm? Will they survive the harrowing journey? Will they

\---

“We get the point, shut up already.” Durastes sighed, sitting in her panties and undershirt by the campfire as her dress dried out on a rank with everyone else’s clothes. Now that they were finally out of the swamps, it was a good opportunity to clean off and refresh. “Man, what a day it’s been…”

“Mm, it could have been more…” Valmyryxyr groaned, her eyes still blank, as she draped herself around a blushing Xistivutua, purposely squishing her breasts against the archer, “Isn’t that right… cutie…?”

“G-geez!” Xistivutua’s cheeks turned bright red as she harrumphed. Keeping her arms folded across her chest out of both embarrassment that she’s flat enough that she didn’t need a bra and out of flusteredness from the magic knight’s staring. “Wh-what kind of status effect is Depraved anyways!? It’s been so long since I read up on Disgaea 2, I don’t remember what it’s supposed to do anymore…”

“You mean, aside from making your oneechan a lot more fun?” Netsinbe snickered, shipping Valmyryxyr and Xistivutua together in her mind.

“N-Netsinbe!” The archer glared back at her angrily.

“I-it’s supposed to weaken your stats! And keep you from gaining EXP!” Typhome quickly interjected to keep this from getting anymore awkward, “At least, that’s what it does in Disgaea 1, I dunno about… um, Disgaea 2, since that’s where that skeletal dragon’s apparently from…”

“Oh, so it’s basically just Weaken in Disgaea 5?” Xistivutua sighed, and shook her head, her twin drills once again whapping Valmyryxyr in the face on total accident, “Geez, why is it even Depraved…? Weaken at least makes a lot more sense, since it weakens your stats, but Depraved…”

“I see nothing wrong with it.” Netsinbe did a :3 and chuckled, “In fact, I think I’d like to learn a skill or two that allows me to inflict Depraved on… whoever I’d like. Typhome, Durastes, what skills are there that inflicts Depraved again?~”

“D-don’t tell them!” Xistivutua blurted out, her cheeks red, “She’s just gonna use it on Valmyryxyr!”

“I-it’s fine!” Durastes huffed, “It’s nothing she can learn anyways! As far as I know, humanoid classes only have a few skills that can inflict Depraved, like the archers’ bow skill Dark Flash.”

“Ohhh? Archers’ Dark ‘Flash’, is it now?~” Netsinbe’s peered at Xistivutua playfully as she said that, and waggled her eyebrows at her.

“S-stop that! Pervert!” Xistivutua cried, “You guys are all so weird!”

“I-It’s not flash like that!” Durastes took her staff and bonked Netsinbe on the head with it, “Netsinbe’s the one making things weird!”

“Y-yeah!” It was Typhome’s turn to bonk Netsinbe on the head with her staff, “Use espoir on Valmyryxyr already! You should have enough SP by now!”

“Ow, ow! Okay, okay, geez.”

\---

“Phew… I feel much better.” Valmyryxyr rubbed her head as her pupils cleared up, returning to their normal colour, “That was a really strange ailment, huh…”

“Yuh huh, you think?” Xistivutua pouted, still flustered from all the unexpected-yet-not-unwanted physical affection she got with Valmyryxyr while she was Depraved, “We need to item world a bit and find Valmyryxyr an innocent that prevents Depraved sometimes.”

“Nahh, too much work.” Netsinbe laughed, “Besides, we don’t really need the leveling, we did just fine today, eh?”

“Yeah… I suppose we did.” Durastes said sheepishly, suddenly remembering the whole tantrum she threw earlier about not being useful, now feeling embarrassed after that spectacular boss fight.

“Hey, remember,” Valmyryxyr said, her tone belonging to both a leader and a friend, “that’s why teamwork is so important. No matter how exceptional and how average any one of us individually is, nothing makes us stronger than working together as a team. We were able to coordinate today and take out our enemies pretty effectively, wouldn’t you say?”

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” Durastes still avoided eye contact, at least until she found some way to redirect the conversation away from her embarrassment, “Well, at least until you single-handedly scared all of them off.”

“E-err, yeah…” The magic knight blushed as she recalled her behaviour when Depraved.

“Valmyryxyr’s right, though.” Typhome brought the topic back to what’s important, not letting Durastes get out of it so easily, “We may have been left behind by power creep in the later games, but we still play important roles in this team. And if we continue to work together, there won’t be anything we can’t overcome! So don’t put yourself down too much, okay Durastes?”

“Um, yeah…” Durastes blushed, not used to receiving so much positive attention at once, “Th-thanks… um, thanks, guys.”

“We are a team, we look out for each other.” Xistivutua smiled, chiming in, “And we’ll definitely get to the bottom of this Dark Mage business!”

“Hmhm, I’m sure we will.” Netsinbe’s mind is wandering off again at the mention of the bottom of this Dark Mage.

“Let’s get some rest for now, we’ll need to be ready for whatever comes up tomorrow.” 

Valmyryxyr sat back in her spot to rest, but then realized her spot was too close to Xistivutua’s, due to her hitting on her earlier, and shifted away to give the archer more space. Xistivutua seemed relieved at first, but then contemplated for a moment, before pulling Valmyryxyr back to cuddle. The knight was surprised, but didn’t mind, so they simply rested that night like that.

\---

Episode 2: What It Means to be a Team, End.

**Author's Note:**

> Valmyryxyr, Xistivutua, Netsinbe, Typhome, Durastes, and Siryndra are actually all characters I've made in my run of Disgaea PC, and ER is actually a character I've made in my Disgaea 2 run. However, since they might as well be OCs, I decided to change up some stuff about their lore and whatnot to make it interesting. 
> 
> I'm just having a lot of fun replaying Disgaea right now, so I thought I'd write a fic about my characters. The whole Netsinbe incest thing actually came to me in a dream. Like, the other night I stayed up really late playing and leveling up Xistivutua and Valmyryxyr so I can unlock the celestial hostess and make Netsinbe, and then that night, I slept really poorly, and had a dream in which Netsinbe is into incest. So I just decided that was going to become part of her character: being a weird angel who likes incest.


End file.
